Islam and Marriage #2: Rights and Duties of Spouses Part 1: The Wife’s Rights, The Husband’s Obligations

There are so many stereotypes that arisen about Islamic marriages and the roles that spouses play. One of the biggest of those stereotypes is that Islamic women are oppressed and treated harshly by their spouses and the other is that women have no rights in the marriage, and are only there to serve the needs of their spouses. These stereotypes come as a result of the actions of a few who call themselves Muslims, as well as the stereotypes presented by the Western media.

In Islam, both spouses have certain rights and duties to one another, and hopefully, these can dispel some of the myths promoted by the media and western society. Moreover, wives have certain rights and husbands have certain duties to their wives.

First, a husband is responsible for his wife’s maintenance. This right comes from the Quran and the Sunnah (the way of Islamic life as given to us by our Prophet – PBUH). It does not matter whether the wife is Muslim, non-Muslim, rich or poor. It is the responsibility of the husband to care for his wife and his family financially. Moreover, this important because it allows the wife the ability to perform her duties as a wife and a mother, and it assures her security. That maintenance involves her right to a home, clothing, food and general care (medication, healthcare, etc.). The right to a home includes privacy, comfort and independence. Additionally, if the wife is unable to attend to her household duties, the husband is, if he can afford it, to provide her with assistance, such as a maid, to assist her.

The wife is entitled to Mahr which is a marriage gift. The marriage contract is not valid without it. Moreover, it does not have to be money or gold. Mahr is a gift from the bride to the groom, and is prescribed under Islamic law. In other cultures, the girl’s family either pays for the wedding or must provide a gift to the husband to marry the daughter. This goes against Islamic law, as it degrades women and is contrary to the character of Islam.
Last, the husband is commanded by Allah to treat his wife with fairness, respect and kindness. Our Prophet (PBUH) stressed the importance of this, and it is reported to have said that “The best Muslim is one who is the best husband.”

As clearly seen by the duties owed to the wife, Islam does not oppress women, and in fact, pushes for respect and responsibility towards women. So the next time you watch something on television or read something in a newspaper that contradicts the requirements of Islamic marriage law, remind yourself that our Prophet’s (PBUH) statement: “The best Muslim is one who is the best husband,” and because of that alone, Islam does not discriminate against or oppress women, and in particular does not allow for husbands to treat their wives badly.
In addition to the rights of the wife and duties of the husband, Islam prescribes that the wife has certain obligations to her husband and the husband has certain rights. We will discuss those in Rights and Duties of Spouses Part 2.

Islam and Marriage #1: The Purpose

As a Muslim woman in corporate America, I sometimes feel lost. I feel like even though I know where I stand in the eyes of Allah and that my faith is strong, I am not doing enough to show that strength in my faith. I, like many people borh into the Muslim faith, and in the western world, have had doubts. The older I get the more those doubts turn into understanding. One of the hardest and difficult things I had to do was divorce. Moreover, I never thought I would remarry, but along my journey of finding myself and understanding my religion a lot better, I realized that Islam is an advocate for marriage.

Islam does not believe in celibacy and it has been reported that our Prophet (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him) said “there is no celibacy in Islam.” Islam, through our Holy Quran, has taught young Muslims that marriage is a religious duty, a moral safeguard and a social necessity. Because of marriage, sexual relations outside of marriage are prohibited and marriage protects from sinful desires. Social necessity refers to families created as a result of marriage and family is central to society.

There are so many stereotypes that arisen about Islamic marriages and the roles that spouses play. One of the biggest of those stereotypes is that Islamic women are oppressed and treated harshly by their spouses and other males in their lives (such as fathers and brothers) and the other is that women have no rights in the marriage, and are only there to serve the needs of their spouses. These stereotypes come as a result of the actions of a few who call themselves Muslims, as well as the stereotypes presented by the Western media.

The purpose of marriage in Islam is unique. First, the word “zawj” is used in our Holy Quran to meet a “pair” or a “mate.” The term used on a general basis means “marriage,” and the general purpose of marriage in Islam is for spouses to provide company for one another, to create a family, to love each other, and live peacefully within the directives our Holy Quran and our Islamic faith. Moreover, marriage serves as the only way for the sexes to unite, and instead of sinning, by choosing marriage, one is showing their obedience to Allah, our creator. Marriage is an agreement that should be entered into with total commitment and full understanding of the venture being taken. A partner is for life, and one must be mature enough to understand the responsibilities and demands of a marriage.

In Islam, there are certain conditions that make a marriage valid and all must be met: (1) both parties must consent; (2) Mahr must be given-this is a gift from the bride to the groom; (3) two witnesses must be present; and (4) the marriage should be made known, and not kept secret.

The general principle on marital obligation comes from our Prophet (Peace and Blessings Upon Him) who was reported to have said: “when a man marries, he has fulfilled half his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” (As reported by Iman Malik ibn Anas; Source Jannah.org/sisters/marr.html).

I will discuss marital duties in my next post.

Fasting Six days of the month of Shawwal

Shawwal is the tenth month of the Islamic Lunar calendar. The first day of Shawwal is Eid al Fitr. After Eid, it is recommended for Muslims who are able to observe six additional days of fast.

It is believed that Abu Ayyoub reported that the Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu alaihi was sallam) said that whomever fasts the entire month of Ramdan and then fasts six days in the month of Shawwal will be rewarded as if he or she fasted the entire year (1). You take fast anytime during the month of Shawwal expect for Eid al Fitr. The days do not have to start at the beginning of the month, nor do they have to be consecutive. However, one must make any days prior to fasting the six days in Shawwal.

If you are able to, it is a good idea to take advantage of the reward of fasting six days in Shawwal.

Endnote/Source:
(1) Ibn Shahid, “Fasting Six Days of Shawwal” From The Way of the Salaf us-Saalih. (September 29, 2008) retrieved September 28, 2008 from http://theclearsunnah.wordpress.com/2008/09/29/fasting-six-days-of-shawwal/.

Life's Tests

Patience (Sabr) in Islam

Allah (Subhanah Wa Talah ) tests us in may ways. In fact, our Holy Quran states clearly that Allah (SWT) asks us to be patient and know the virtue of sabr.

Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, Surah Baqarah (2: 155).

And We shall try you until We test those among you who strive their utmost and persevere in patience; and We shall try your reported (mettle). Surah Muhammad (47: 31).

We are all tested on a daily basis in our jobs, our lives, and with our families. We tested in stronger ways through death, divorce, illness, etc. Sometimes, our most difficult tests lead us to despair or depression. These times we should not lose hope, but exercise “sabr” or patience. The Quran tells us to place our patience in his hands and pray for guidance:
On no soul does Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) “Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden Like that which You did lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith.”

There are rewards for patience. First, patient person is blessed by Allah (SWT). Second, Allah (SWT) gives us His mercy. Last, Allah (SWT) offers us his guidance

Surah Baqarah (2: 157):
“They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.”

Surah Hud (11:11), we are promised reward for our patience:
Not so do those who show patience and constancy, and work righteousness; for them is forgiveness (of sins) and a great reward.

The below You Tube Video talks about the importance of patience in Islam and examples set by our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon Him).

Child Imam

Masha'Allah, this child cannot be more than five years old.

Learning the Salah

Salah is the second and the most important pillar of Islam. The minute you recite the Kalima, Salah is mandatory upon you as a Muslim. There are no excuses for missing Salah, even if you are ill, on a journey or even in war.

Allah Ta’Ala tells us in the Glorious Qurah that "I have not created the jinn and humankind for any other purpose except that they should worship me."

Salah allows to strengthen or faith and worship of Allah. It teaches us live a life of purity and goodness and obedience to creator. Every time we perform our Salah, we renew our commitment to Allah and rid ourselves of the world’s pressures. Salah distinguishes between a believer and a non-believer and Salah is obligatory upon every Muslim.

Here is a series of seven step-by-step videos on learning the Salah for all five prayer times. You can either watch them here or you can visit the You Tube page for all seven videos.















Insha’Allah you find this helpful.